Everything

Everything

☽〇☾

Two days later the fuss had died down, and thunder rumbled in the distance. Lua knocked on her neighbor’s door and stood, waiting for an answer. Finally, the Moon answered, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Its face was two thirds brightened by some invisible source, exactly as it would have been had it never left the sky.

Lua shuffled the small packages in her hands. “Uh, I have some candles and matches for you guys. My mom said the power might go out.” She handed both of them over. “That one also has some herbal tea. I’m not entirely sure what it’s for, but she insisted.”

The Moon took the gifts gratefully, though it still stood statuesque, as if it had never received one before and wasn’t quite sure what to do. “Thank you, I-“

All at once, the lights inside went out with a loud pop, which meant a fuse had gone, and Lua stood on the porch between their two front doors as rain began to fall. First in small light drops, but within moments they became a heavy curtain. 

The Moon was looking past her in awe, and hurried footsteps nearly overpowered the sound of the rain as the Sun presumably sprinted over, throwing the door open wider. 

It didn’t acknowledge her presence, but she could feel the heat radiating off of it as it pressed past her. Lua watched them both step towards the end of the porch covering, looking at the rain like it was gold falling instead of water. 

The Sun held a hand out, which pooled with water, and it glowed a bit and laughed with the brightness of a thousand stars, sharing a smile with the Moon that only they could understand. 

Lua watched them, their backs turned to her, but she knew their eyes were wide with the wonder of a world below the sky.

☽〇☾

When school started late August, every news channel was filled with meteorologists trying to explain this sudden global cooling phase, oceanographers scrambling to study these new, tideless oceans, and doomsday preppers spreading word of armageddon. 

Lua flicked off the TV when the Moon, who had taken to calling herself Della, called her to the table for dinner. 

The Sun, Penny now, walked in with grocery bags, set them on the counter and kissed Della on the cheek before joining them at the table. They were still so bright that it hurt Lua’s eyes to look at them, so much that she felt the need to squint, so instead she focused on the tomato soup and grilled cheese in front of her. After living next door to them all summer, the pair had become like a set of fun aunts, or young and hip extra parents.

She waited a moment for them to tell about their days, what Penny did at the office and the tours Della gave at the museum. Both of them were perfectly content with the mundane predictability of life that bored others to death.

“How about you, Lua? How was school?” Penny asked.

“It was fine,” she first said, but when neither Penny nor Della moved on, she added, “My chemistry teacher lit his hair on fire.” They had her recount the whole story, drawing her into new ones each time it came to a close.

When they heard the unmistakable sound of a door closing on the other side of the shared wall between their two homes, Lua knew her mom had gotten home and it was time to go back. But before she left and before she could talk herself out of it, Lua turned back to Penny and Della. “I just wanted to say thank you again. For letting me hang over here after school that is. I know 15 is more than old enough to be home by myself, but since my mom got that new job she just…” She trailed off as she felt her cheeks flush. Lua was far too old for a babysitter, but spending evenings with Penny and Della was nice.

Della smiled gently. “She didn’t want you to be alone? Don’t worry,” she said, grabbing Penny’s hand. “We know the feeling.”

Lua smiled back at the pair, said goodnight, and went home.

☽〇☾

The first snow day of the year was September twenty-eighth. It was only three and a half inches, but it was wet and heavy and the roads froze over because no one had thought to salt them. 

Looking out the window at the pristine canvas of untouched snow, Lua found it hard to remember the drive she had taken with her mom down to the beach last weekend; the line of crusted salt formed on the edge of the still ocean, the stench of rotted fish and kelp, the lines around her mother’s eyes, framed by dark curls as she frowned, and Lua grabbing her hand to drag her away.

Downstairs, her mom sat at their table with a cup of coffee, listening to the radio announce which roads were closed. She was home for the day as well. When the grainy radio voice started going on about how if things stayed like this, true winter would be deadly, she turned a knob until the static cleared to Latin jazz. 

Lua joined her, pouring her own cup of coffee from the pot, loading it with milk and sugar in a way that made her mom shake her head.

“Lua, honey, don’t you plan on playing in the snow?” she asked.

Lua rolled her eyes. “That’s for little kids.”

“Why don’t you ask the girls next door if they want to go sledding with you?” Her mother seemed intent on getting her out of the house.

“Girls?” Lua knew her mom didn’t mean the twin girls who just started third grade that lived the next house over. “Mom, you know they’re like millions of years old. Literally. I don’t think they count as girls anymore.”

She fixed her gaze on the wall they shared, the one where late at night, after Lua had gone to sleep, her mom heard both small laughs and quiet sobs. “Girls. Go ask them to sled with you.”

And that was that. Within the hour, Lua, Penny, and Della stood atop the snow covered hill at the end of the neighborhood, the one kids affectionately referred to as Death Mountain. 

“And you’re sure this is safe?” Della looked rather unsure, even as she watched kid after kid fly down the hill, joyful screams echoing before they did their best to run up the hill to do it all again.

Lua thought back to the time she broke her arm going off a ramp some of the older kids had built six years ago. She thought of the ankle that Simon from down the road sprained falling as he tried to climb back up when she was twelve, of Miguel and Hannah who had both broken a leg at one point or another. “Yeah it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

Della still bit her lip, her gloved hands wringing together, but Penny was convinced. She took the sled from Lua, a red piece of plastic that had served her well over the years, and stood there ready for instruction. Penny had no coat, but as far as Lua could tell, she hardly even noticed. Della and herself were bundled up in several layers, but all that separated Penny from the harsh winds was a simple sweatshirt.

Lua held the sled while she sat down, rerunning the tips she had given on the way there. “Remember, keep your arms and legs inside, don’t let go of the string, and if you need to try and turn lean and pull the string in that direction.”

“Got it. I’m ready.”

“Okay, hold on tight.” Lua gave her a push, just enough to get her over the edge of the hill. Then, she stood with Della as gravity took over.

They watched Penny pick up speed, letting out her own joyous whoop as she slid down.

“See Della? It’s fun-“ Lua started, a moment too soon because Penny’s excited yell turned to one of fear. She had hit a large bump, likely an abandoned attempt at a ramp, had gotten a bit of air, and was now spiraling out of control.

“Oh sh*t!”

Della grabbed her arm. “Do something Lua!”

At the bottom of the hill, Penny had finally come to a stop, laying sprawled out next to the sled, unmoving.

Lua cupped her hands around her mouth, yelling down. “Penny! Are you alright?”

She didn’t move. 

“I’m coming Penny!” Della called down. Before Lua could stop her, she grabbed the nearest sled, leaving Lua to promise its safe return, and was on her way down before Lua had a chance to stop her. 

She slid down the hill, sitting in an icy track someone had made, and joined only a few moments after Della made it over to Penny.

She expected the worst. Namely, a broken bone. But Penny lay there, sprawled out like she was about to make a snow angel, looking up at the sky with a huge grin on her face.

Della also stood, watching, as Penny started to laugh. A small giggle at first, growing until she had tears in her eyes. Lua couldn’t help but notice that although her laugh was still bright and clear, it sounded less otherworldly than it had before.

When she finally calmed down a bit, Penny sat up, brushing the caked snow off of her sweatshirt. 

“So are you alright?” Lua asked, though unless brain damage was the issue, she knew the answer.

“I think,” Penny started, still smiling but stopping to wrap her arms around herself in an unsure movement. “I think I feel cold.”

☽〇☾

The world only got colder after that. If Penny, the sun herself, couldn’t keep warm, then who could? 

The oceans weren’t much better. A still body of water freezes faster, and Lua had heard of some northern islands being completely ice-locked. 

She lay in bed and watched as the clock changed from 11, to 12, to 1:17 AM. Her room was cold, and all the blankets in the world couldn’t do much against poorly insulated walls and arctic weather.

Finally, Lua got up, all her blankets in a bundle, and made the short trip across the hall to her mom’s room. Quietly she opened the door and tiptoed to the bed. 

“Lua?” came her mom’s groggy voice. “Do you need something, honey?”

She hadn’t meant to wake her up. “Sorry Mom, I’m just cold.”

“Okay, you can sleep in here tonight,” she said, answering the unasked question.

It didn’t take long for her to get in the bed, distributing the blankets across them both. 

She listened to her mom’s breathing, waiting for it to slow to the rhythm of sleep and stared at the ceiling. 

But it didn’t.

“Hey Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Why do you think they left the sky?”

Her mom was silent for a moment, thinking. “Sometimes, what you have in life isn’t enough. You might have food and shelter and survive day to day, but sometimes that isn’t living.”

“I don’t know if I understand.”

“You don’t have to.”

They were both quiet again. Lua thought of her mom working late nearly every day, of the years they spent in a cramped apartment with just one room for the two of them, of coupon clipping and cheap coffee.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Do you feel that way? Is what you have enough?”

This time, her mom didn’t need to think.

“Lua, my darling, everything I need is right here.”

They didn’t say any more, but Lua fell asleep in her mother’s arms like a little kid.

☽〇☾

In November, a blizzard hit. School let out early, and Lua wasn’t sure if they would be going back. After more than a month of freezing temperatures, snow just froze to ice until more piled on top. 

She sat in the front seat of Della’s car as they drove home. Her mom worked on the other side of town, but didn’t want her to take the bus after one had slid off the road last week. No one had been hurt, but there was talk of closing school until things thawed out. Nobody mentioned what would happen if they didn’t.

And so, Lua looked out at the world, covered in a layer of frost and snow, as they tried to make it home, pulling her coat tighter around her body. She tried to turn the heat up higher, but it was already on full blast.

Della looked over as she shivered and frowned. “There’s a blanket in the back seat if you want.”

Lua grabbed it, wrapping it around herself as best she could, and neither one said anything for a while.

“Hey Della?” she finally asked.

“Hmm?”

“Do you- do you think you guys will go back? To the sky, that is.” She watched as Della’s face went still, and though it hadn’t been following the phase of the moon for weeks, it was so white you’d think the moon was full.

“Well, uh, I don’t-” Della tripped over her words, then thought for a moment. “Me and Penny, well, we’re happy here. We have everything we wanted.”

Lua remembered what her mom had said just last week, about having everything she needed. But the truth was she didn’t. The smell of dollar brand coffee clung to her clothes, her eyes were stained by late nights and double shifts. She had a daughter who, as hard as she tried, couldn’t stay blind to the hardships of the world. But still she found ways to smile.

“Della, you can’t have everything. No one can, not for long.”

“I…” She never finished, and they drove the rest of the way home in silence.

☽〇☾

“You still don’t see her?” Penny asked, concerned. 

Lua and Della had been back for a full twenty minutes, but her mom still wasn’t. Her work was only as far, and even with the snow, it shouldn’t have taken much longer. 

She sat crisscrossed in a chair facing the window, trying to see through the fog of snow rapidly collecting on every surface. “No.” Lua tried not to let her fears get the best of her.

“Why don’t you call her again?” Penny tried, but her voice was tight and revealed her own anxiety.

Lua did it anyway, and waited for one ring, two, and so on until her mom’s voicemail answered, “Hello, you’ve reached Marie Avena. I can’t get to the phone right now, but leave a message-” Lua hung up.

“What if something happened?” she asked. 

“Lua, sweetie, I’m sure it’s fine. Her phone probably died, and she got stuck in traffic with all the weather.” Penny didn’t sound sure.

Della walked back in the room, fidgeting with the sleeves of her cardigan. “Nothing yet?”

Lua shook her head.

“How about we go look for her?” she said. “Her car might have broken down.” 

“Della-” Penny started, but quickly stopped again with a look from Della.

And so all three of them were on the road, Della drove, Penny beside her, and Lua in the back. 

They had made it all the way to the accounting firm her mother had been working, only to find that the doors were locked. Everyone had already left. 

Driving back, Lua stared at the side of the road, searching for the flash of silver she didn’t want to see but couldn’t stomach not finding. Until she saw it.

“There!” she suddenly shouted, pointing to a disturbed snowbank on the side of the road. The car almost slid out of control with how fast Della stepped on the breaks. The road was covered in ice.

As soon as it stopped, Lua threw the car door open, nearly wiping out running to the snow bank, the silver flash. She dug with her ungloved hands until they burned from the cold, but didn’t stop, only mildly aware of Della and Penny helping beside her.

They finally got the windshield uncovered, and inside Lua could see her mom, eyes closed and head leaning against the window as if asleep. She banged on the windshield to wake her up. “Mom! Mom, we’re here! You’re gonna be okay,” she yelled. She was slamming the windshield with a solid chunk of ice, but she didn’t know when she had grabbed it. 

Breaking it didn’t take too long, as there was already a fracture, and it suddenly shattered with one final blow.

“Lua, be careful!” Della said, but Lua was already climbing inside, not caring about the broken glass.

She kneeled in the passenger seat. “Mom? Mom, wake up,” Lua said. There was a small cut on her face, but the bit of blood coming from it had frozen. 

Lua shook her shoulders, but her mom wouldn’t move. Her skin was cold to the touch. Sobs cracking her voice as Lua pleaded with her mother to wake up.

Suddenly Della was gently pulling her out the broken front of the car. “No! Della stop, she needs to wake up!” Lua yelled and kicked at Della, and tried to hold on to her mom, but that only succeeded in making her slump forward a little and scratching both herself and Della with broken glass.

When Della had finally gotten Lua out of the car and to calm down a little, she wrapped her own coat around her shaking body and wiped her tears so they wouldn’t freeze. 

Penny just watched.

Lua looked at her. A million thoughts ran through her, a million moments of sadness and anger and grief and everything in between, but only one word came out of her mouth. “Why?”

“I- we- just- never meant…” Penny couldn’t look at Lua anymore, so she turned to Della.

“Penny, we can’t do this anymore,” she said.

“What? No! We have everything we wanted!” Tears formed in Penny’s eyes too.

Della looked at Lua, and then back to Penny and kissed her cheek. “That’s what it’s all about, we can’t have everything. What we do have has to be enough.”

Lua was crying again. So were Penny and Della. She didn’t remember how or when they made it back home, but they did and they were and all Lua could do was stare at the window, waiting for that silver car to drive home.

☽〇☾

Lua fell asleep in her mother’s room. She dreamt that the Moon had come in and kissed her forehead. Not a goodnight, a goodbye. She dreamt that the Moon was back in the sky, full and bright and singing a song of grief, a song of love. She curled tighter around herself, pulling her mother’s blanket close. Lua slept and woke while it was still dark. She watched the Moon set and the stars fade. She held a cup of cheap coffee in her hands just to warm them up. Then, despite everything, Lua watched as the Sun rose to its place in the sky.

Author

Ella May is an artist in all senses of the word, from dancing to painting, but writing has always been her favorite form. She loves fiction and poetry, and can often be found drifting off into a made-up world right out of one of her stories. 

Growth Artist: Meghan Slenker